Stay-cation

I'm getting really tired of overused terms and just plain dumb words, like the newly coined "stay-cation" to refer to those who prefer to stay home (likely because of the high cost of gas) rather than invest in a family (expensive) vacation. I am recommending that we create a post of these dumb phrases or words as a final call to retire them from our language. To start off our list, how about these priceless artifacts:

• "It is, what it is" (what ever the hell that means to anyone, since I've yet to understand this waste of rhetoric)
• "It's neither here, nor there" (another phrase that is about as insightful as the ever popular, "uhhh" or similar "you know, blah, blah, blah, you know"

By the way, I'm also tired of people responding to "how're you doing" with the generic "I'm fine." From now on, I'm going to add a little color to the dialogue by saying, "I'm translucent, Thank you"

General Postmaster

My mailbox has been approved by the Postmaster General. I'm not really sure why it needs approval, particularly at such a high level. It's only slightly more advanced than a waste basket. Slap a door and a flag on a waste basket, boom, you have a mailbox!

Why is this guy a general, anyway? I think this power has gone to his head if he has to go around approving mailboxes. If he wants to approve things, maybe he should take a closer look at some of the people they hire. Or even those crummy little trucks they drive around in.

I guess this guy is so flush with power that he only allows "real" mail to be left in these boxes. Now I get all kinds of fliers and crap stuck in the flag and tacked to the post. Why can't these people just leave this junk in my mailbox? Are they afraid they'll be arrested by some marauding Postmaster Corporals or Privates?

MasterCard-Bait

Amazing how overused the tag phrase has been since MasterCard successfully launched its commercial on "priceless." A week doesn't pass at work when someone tries to put together a memo with (what they believe is) an attention getting teaser at the beginning that always culminates in "priceless." Don't people realize that this is so ridiculously old that it's become passe, and the mere thought of trying to make it sound fresh only makes the author seem even more obsolete. So I plead with the world to stop this insanity, and let's rid the reference to "priceless" once and for all. Now on to the next overused term. . . NOT!

Room 101

I spent the night in Plainwell, Michigan last night. At the Motel 6.
The Westin was full.
The Hyatt had too many kids.

I got my room through Priceline.com.
I said I would like a five-star hotel.
It came back and told me it would like a user that had a clue.
I kept lowering the number of stars until I got a room at the price I wanted.
I didn't know you could go as low as .2 stars.

When I got there they gave me room 101. "Must be the front row."
I felt pretty special until I realized I was the only guest.
I got suspicious around 11:00 when the desk clerk called to say he was going home and could I make sure the front door was locked.
I didn't really mind being alone in the hotel but I really didn't like fixing the morning coffee and putting out the breakfast buffet.