I dragged my trash can out to the curb last night for pickup this morning. That trash can has to be at least 15 to 20 years old by now and is in fine working condition. But what if it wasn't? How would I throw it away?
Every Tuesday evening I leave the trash can and its no longer useful contents by the street. The next evening, there it is again but emptied of the family discards. This is, of course, how the world should work in suburbia. However, say I wanted to rid myself of this can once and for all. What if I wanted a new can to match the house? Do I leave the old can outside without anything thrown inside of it and hope the garbage collectors take the hint? Should I flip it upside down to signify that it died and it's time for burial? I could put it in the recycling bin but I don't think it would fit. I suppose I could leave a sign on the side along the lines of "take this trash and the can it rode in on!". However, I think if I were the trash collector, I would simply take the sign and leave the can. I think someone has to be more clever than that to rid themselves of a trash can.
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7 comments:
I think you do have some options. Perhaps, you can dump your garbage all around the can to camouflage it, and they may take the whole kaboodle away. Or you could find a larger can and place the old can within the new container. I generally go with the simple option of tossing the old one in my neighbor's yard to let him deal with the garbage man. (Of course, this only works if you don't have any identifying information painted/etched permanently on the side, but if they catch you, just blame it on the crazy garbage man who forgot which house it belonged to).
Beat the old trash can to an unrecognizable heap, then put in in the new one. You'll feel better, and I will feel better imagining that you actually did this.
Echo's comment works pretty well with another idea I had a few years ago - a mobile stress reliever van.
Picture a Winnebago sized van completely padded on the inside with nothing in it exept for a couple of padded posts. Park outside of particularly stressed workplaces and offer people, for a small fee, a soft rubber bat and the opportunity to beat the hell out the inside of the van for 15 minutes or so. For a little extra I could throw in a garbage can to whack around the van!
This seems like a good stress reliever to me.
Flaw in that strategy is what happens to the Winnebago when you're done? Try throwing that bad boy away and expecting the garbage man to haul it away.
Ever thought of trying to melt the garbage can down and molding it into the shape of a hand with a middle finger sticking up, and leaving it for your trash pickup. I'll bet he takes the can next time. Of course, you run the risk that he leaves you a little surpise.
Mystery solved! Thats how all these house fires are started! People just wanting to rid themselves of old trash cans by melting them down into obscene finger gestures.
ooh, i forgot to put Blacksmith on my list of very cool jobs. (See my blog...)
Actually, he may want to keep that "fingerine" and place it on his lawn next to the pink flamingo and "large lady bent over" sign. Just want to prove that I'm into recycling. Color me green!
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