I have been getting a substantial amount of earwax lately to the point that it's literaly falling out of my freaking ear. Hope I don't develop an Eric. Oh no, Gagne with a spoon!
Sounds like you need to be saved from yourself. Do you have an actual mound of earwax? I haven't been experiencing that dilemna myself and let me tell you, that's a relief. You may need some earwax solvent, probably a pitcher full.
I think there's a lake in Double-in where you can drop your sinker - it's by the curve in the road. Better watch out though, I heard there's alot of screwballs there who like to spit. I think there from the Balk-in islands.
Hey, you better split before I give you the finger but fast! And I don't want to hear you balling all the way to your mother. Now don't knuckle under pressure.
Personally, I think you're a little off base. In fact, you're way out of line and I can't stand it. You'd better simmer down before there's an explogeion.
Are you still the late night wild pitchman for HerbaLife? I think only singles are up that late. Better double up your odds and get a celebrity to play you instead. Perhaps, John Triplet is available?
Beer, I think. Um, Um, Astros beer. The only type I drink on my turf! Nothing artificial about this beer, you poor sod. Now, I need to go to steal another one from the refrigerator.
You're such a Card. People who haven't even Met me think I'm an Angel. There must be dozens of times I've heard some girl say she wish I had a Twin. You, on the other hand, are a Giant pain in the ass.
Quit your whining and write to your Senator because I think we've exhausted all possible choices, and I don't think any of them will play in Peoria, Chief!
Ok, guys. Looks like I need to put my old Subaru away and Packer up for the night. Hopefully, my old battery will be okay or I'll have to Charger up tomorrow morning.
67 comments:
Sounds like you need to be saved from yourself. Do you have an actual mound of earwax? I haven't been experiencing that dilemna myself and let me tell you, that's a relief. You may need some earwax solvent, probably a pitcher full.
I think there's a lake in Double-in where you can drop your sinker - it's by the curve in the road. Better watch out though, I heard there's alot of screwballs there who like to spit. I think there from the Balk-in islands.
Listen, Mr. Huge, you son of a pitch! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't strike you, da-mitt.
Hey, you better split before I give you the finger but fast! And I don't want to hear you balling all the way to your mother. Now don't knuckle under pressure.
Personally, I think you're a little off base. In fact, you're way out of line and I can't stand it. You'd better simmer down before there's an explogeion.
Are you still the late night wild pitchman for HerbaLife? I think only singles are up that late. Better double up your odds and get a celebrity to play you instead. Perhaps, John Triplet is available?
Have you got a brain in that dome of yours? I think you should retract those comments. What tarp of liquor are you drinking?
Beer, I think. Um, Um, Astros beer. The only type I drink on my turf! Nothing artificial about this beer, you poor sod. Now, I need to go to steal another one from the refrigerator.
Astro's beer, you're pretty braves - they went out of business years ago. You need to find a new brewer. Did it taste great or was it less Philling?
A, now I'm seeing Red, because you're questioning my beer! You're such a National disgrace!
You're such a Card. People who haven't even Met me think I'm an Angel. There must be dozens of times I've heard some girl say she wish I had a Twin. You, on the other hand, are a Giant pain in the ass.
I think you Pirated most of the jokes from Allen. Isn't he from South Padre island? Frankly, I've had my Phillies of you.
I think you've been Exposed for what you are - a snake, or more specifically, a Diamondback. And what the Devil are you doing calling yourself Ray?
I think your Yank'n my kees, and I'm getting really Tiger of your insults. Leave me alone because I need to Mariner my chicken for tomorrow's cookout.
If it Raines are you prepared to go inside and cook on the Ranger? I think you should serve Oriole shakes for breakfast.
Boy, I hope it doesn't rain, because my white sox may turn to red sox
Awwww, would you feel blue - you big jay-o?
I'm just adMarlin your quick retorts.
I guess I'm just athletic when it comes to puns. I'm sure I have a cubble more.
Hey, didn't I use Oakland's team before! You Indian giver! Ok. Rockies on!
You said "A", I said "Athletic" - completely different. You can just give your complaints a Royal flush!
Quit your whining and write to your Senator because I think we've exhausted all possible choices, and I don't think any of them will play in Peoria, Chief!
Listen sport, why don't you Ram it?
I'm just trying to grin and Bear it.
Oh really? I think you're Lion!
Hey dr. post, why don't you ask before using my computer you computer steeler . You're being quite Cavalier about it.
I think Jr. is Patriotnizing you Dr. Post.
Don't be silly. DP jr. is a Saint!
Yea, of course I'm a saint, I'm painting houses this summer and every customer is raven about me!
Sea here, don't start hawking your services on our blog.
Ok, guys. Looks like I need to put my old Subaru away and Packer up for the night. Hopefully, my old battery will be okay or I'll have to Charger up tomorrow morning.
I think you should pack up that car and ship it to Bengal. Be sure the ship is a Titan.
Or sell it, and get a new car at Viking Dodge. Or how 'bout a Jaguar? I imagine a Jaguar would run up large bills though.
My best friend is the actor Dolph Lundgren, and he can lend me some money, at least a few fins.
Yeah, that'll probably save you a few Bucs.
He's a real Cowboy, but standing agains Tom Cruise, he looks like a Giant!
Francis George is my friend - he's a Cardinal.
Lemme guess when he was born, 1949,errrr...1950!
Wasn't that the same year that the Jetsons debuted?
When did the Pink Panther debut?
I think it was around the time the Colt .45's played.
If I could rate Colt .45's as a good team nickname, I'd Raider a 10!
I think you are a Brown nose.
Actually, I've gotten so much sun lately I've got Redskin, not brown skin.
It should be illeagle to spend so much time in the sun.
Not really if you use suntan Oilers
I dunno... a lot of sun is Texan on the skin.
But I like that Hou but can't Ston to be too pale.
Fort what it's Worth, I think the ladies dig my handsome dark complexion.
What an Austin-tious response!
Amarillo tired of carrying on so many different strings of puns.
What the El! Then why don't you Paso on the post.
Hey, why don't hop a Plano and get out of here?!
I think I saw that scene on an old cop show called Get Christie Love where the title character was getting a Habeaus Corpus
I think I'm crabby because I got bit by a Mesquiteo.
I honestly think you two are a bunch of Wacos!
You have a lot of Gal to say that especially considering how much I've inVeston you!
You're quite the joKerr, ville you please knock it off?
Abilene that you're ugly.
O, dessa good one!
If you think that's good, you should hear me sing "my Garland Clementine"!
That's rich! You try 'ard, son.
I got Alamo puns where they came from!
On the contrary, you're falling behind while I'm in gains ville!
Listen, you big Lubbock, I'll have you for dinner!
You're nothing but a parisite.
I heard Paris Hilton was someone's dArling - ton-ight!
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