Since I was brought up to be somewhat of a gentleman, I will usually open and hold the door for a woman to enter a room or building. I assume the gentlemanliness of this act is derived from the principle of "ladies first". However, the act of opening the door has the added benefit of relieving the woman of the effort of moving the door. This of course raises the question in my mind - what to do with a revolving door.
If the woman precedes a man into a revolving door, the man has followed the ladies first principle to the letter. The woman, though, has then been burdened with the bulk of the effort of moving the door forward. However, should the man precede the woman into the revolving door, thus sparing her some of the effort of moving the door, he has ignored the doctrine of ladies first. So I ask you, which is more gentlemanly with regard to a revolving door: the man first or the woman first?
I posed this question to a female friend that I hold in the highest regard figuring she could provide some guidance. My question wasn't answered but I did sense that she thought psychiatric help may be in order for me. Naturally I now turn to the blogging world for answers. If only we had some readers.
6 comments:
Since Emily didn't Post, I figured I should respond. I believe proper etiqutte requires the gentleman to precede the woman in order to provide the "push" so as to relieve her from the burden. I generally find it quite entertaining, however, to push to such an extent that we may revolve for at least two revolutions, thereby giving my lady partner a doozie of a dizzy spell. Works much better than any aphrodisiac!
Now on to more serious matters. I often find myself in a similar dilemma that you describe when being in a situation where I meet a woman for the first time. Although I generally would prefer to make the first move and offer to shake a stranger's hand, I do believe protocol dictates that the woman should offer her hand first. On many occasions, the woman does, but there is tension in the air until this occurs. Occasionally, I inadvertantly offer my hand first because the tension is just too strong for me. Similarly, I find it uncomfortable when the woman offers her hand with the palm down, almost like she would as if she were royalty and expecting me to kiss her hand. On those rare occasions, I typically will rub her knuckles with my thumb as I am shaking her hand. Is this appropriate?
Absolutly. Some women will freak out if you just kiss their hand, though a polit nod is considered to be in good form.
I only find hand shakes to be problematic when I don't make the proper "connection", leaving mine and my counterpart's hands in an awkward clasp. Shaking hands with a woman leaves me particularly vulnerable to this predicament. While I find that most women offer their hand in the traditional handshake position (I would describe it as a sidearm motion), I do encounter the occasional woman who offers their hand in more of an "overhand" manner. This of course suggests that the gentleman is to clasp only the fingers in more of an old fashioned "how do you do, madame" kind of handshake. This also serves to make the kiss of the hand much easier to execute as well. I'm not sure if that thumb rub of yours is appropriate but I'm sure it would be considered more appropriate than a pat on the fanny.
I'm not sure if this is a Venus - Mars type of thing, but I do notice that more woman are bending over without bending their knees to do their business, such as picking up something on the ground, tend to flowers, tie shoelaces, etc. It seems strange to me as I was always taught that "ladies" should always squat down as in a curtsy position rather keep the posterior in an elevated position. Of course, I have not noticed many woman do so in a skirt, not that I haven't tried, but somehow, I'm not sure even if wearing pants/jeans that women should bend over like that.
This also leads to another observation that was cited in Dear Abby yesterday when an avid reader wrote in to say how bothered he and his wife were to see a display of a woman's underwear and cheeks as she wore the trendy low rise jeans in an upscale restaurant. The reader was complaining because it was disruptive to his meal. Now I personally do not have any issues with woman wanting to display her wears, so to speak, but I draw the line when they do not bend over very ladylike.
I've gotten to the point where I'm offended by people who always seem to have something to complain about! There are of course times when complaint or criticism are necessary but there are those who have elevated complaining to the point of obsession. Just shut up for once! The world is not always going to turn your way! Tell that guy in the restaurant to just worry about whether the meal is to his satisfaction or not. Who cares what the other patrons are wearing.
By the way, what was the name of this establishment? It sounds nice!
I think the name of the place was "Cheeks." (Really is a place in Bloomington). The man was eating a Crescent roll at the time, and I think she was a practicing Moonie. Boy, you really stepped into that Crater, you Lunatic.
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