Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Time to give THANKS!
It's that wonderful time of the year that begins shortly before Halloween. No, I'm talking about that profit enhancing enterprise called Christmas. I realize that it's oft overused, but Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year. I noticed the local Wal-Mart already had the Christmas displays up before Halloween. I recall that it was considered sacroligious to begin decorating a tree before Thanksgiving. My, how times have changed! Now, what used to be a joyous occasion, now brings stress to not only the retailers as they scramble to squeeze out that very last cent, but more importantly, it's the average joe who suffers because he has to be up by the crack of dawn to get the newest playstation wiii. Now, I must remind you the most important part of my message: what the begonias ever happened to THANKSGIVING!!!!???!?!? Didn't we forget that this was an important occasion to remember our long ago ancestors who came over on the Mayflower. . . who raped and pillaged the local Indian population. . .er. Native Americans. . .just so we could eat their turkey? Isn't this a day of THANKS?!?! So, I implore you to remember this sacred holiday as you dive in for another round of Aunt Bernice's pecan pie, and think about the other 364 days that we need to appreciate what we have. By the way, I think I'll use Mayflower van lines the next time I move since they go waaaay back. Happy Thanksgiving!
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16 comments:
I'd like to thank the members of the academy for this honor. I also want to thank my family for putting up with me for all these years. And a special thank you to my agent; you're the best.
Thank you for this talk, you know you really eased my mind. I was troubled about the shape of things to come. And most of all, thanks for the memories.
I'd personally like to thank all the virgins out there who are eagerly awaiting me, and thank you for not leaving any further rude comments!
You realize, of course, that the reason they're so eager is because the one's waiting for you are all over 50.
on a scale of 1-10!
Actually, I don't think you want those old heifers to get anywhere near a scale.
Are you the one who always claims size doesn't matter? Course, I can see why in your case, tiny.
Stubby,
If you carefully peruse my immediately prior comment, you will note that my argument would be that size does matter.
Size only matters to those who are substandard. Teeny.
I think you are arguing from both sides of the fence, Micro.
I'm on the right side of the fence, sub-atom
But you've left your senses, moron!*
* As opposed to ion, proton, neutron...
But I can still smell a rat, miniscule!
But you're tasting defeat, infinitesmal.
I can see victory, micro-organism!
That's not what I hear, dust mite.
How can you hear anything when you're a gnat's ass?
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