No this is not about your voluptuous cousin, you freakazoid! I would like to make an observation about attractive women. Now, I won't get soft and talk about "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and overused cliches, but wanted to share a thought as I sit in my high tech department full of overweight, overlooked, overdone, over-aged, and over the top females. Of course, you would say, they may not be attractive because the industry doesn't attract that type of person. Instead, we are beset with horn rimmed glass bearing, "techy types" littering the floors. The majority sex of our staff is male, and no doubt, very little sex occurs in this group, at least if another party is involved (who doesn't have a tail, that is).
Now you may ask, why do I bring this topic up on an innocent Friday night? Well, I suddenly realized as I drove home that it is relative. After spending an inordinate amount of time in this environment, I realized that the flirtatious geek who is constantly in the copy room is not that unattractive. Sure, not exactly the complement that one of the opposite sex would like to hear, but hear me out. Compared to the other females in the department, she's not bad. However, she definitely no Heather Locklear, nor even a Katie Couric, but compared to some of the smelly Roseanne Barr type beasts around here, she's beginning to look awful. . . appealing. Again, it's all relative. If I were in Atlanta, Georgia or San Antonio, Texas, I would say that Britney Spears would not garner a second look.
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6 comments:
I guess this isn't your campaign speech for the presidency of the local chamber of commerce. How many people work at your place? Thousands? This sure doesn't speak well of the women of Hooterville (pun not intended).
Then again, I've seen your picture on the Junior Achievement website - the local women are probably writing similar posts on their blogs.
Scanning the Junior Achievement website looking for a date?
I think I've seen your ugly mug on a different site. Perhaps, you they should leave you alone after that prison stint.
Have you also noticed that your vomit greet 1971 Chevy Vega also looks good there in the heart of dullsville? And I'll bet your overalls with the "flood" pant legs practically qualify you for the cover of GQ. That's Gomer Quarterly, by the way.
Do you consider your holey jeans the product of rat infestation or bullet holes in your land of gomorrah? I said holey not holy. Oh, sorry, that's what they call high fashion where you come from. I'll take a rake from a neighbor than get raked over the coals by a cutthroat collegue in that rat race you call home any day. Think about that as you pour $150 for a full tank of premium in that overpriced badge of prestige that my Vega can take on with respect at any light.
Listen softie, I don't want to call you ruralites wimps, but what you people down there in Mayberry refer to as "armed robbery", we call it "networking".
Yes, I would say that your advanced technology has spawned some great ideas such as syphillis, extortion, sarbanes-oxley, etc. Perhaps, you should settle for a simpler life and marry your cousin.
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