In this day of rampant professionalism, I have to admit that I am uncomfortable with extending my hand to shake hands. Although I'd like to say that germs may be a factor in this consideration, and have had my share of standing by the restroom sink washing my hands while coworkers will "do their business" only to walk out with palms dripping with invisible bacteria, I do feel strange as people I do know well attempt to shake hands under the guise of professionalism. Obviously, I return the firm shake with a haughty "how do you do" or "good to see you again" to make it even more insincere. Am I wrong that I prefer to keep my distance with my colleagues or do I have to continue to play this unusual game of dilbert-esque interaction?
I would not socialize with these individuals, nor would I spend more time than necessary, so why must I be subjected to shaking the hands of someone and act like I really enjoy spending more than a prefessional minute with them. Excuse me while I wash my hands.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Have you tried giving the other person a head butt (I'll leave the sophomoric jokes on this one to you)? What it lacks in professionalism, it more than makes up for in germ prevention. Unless, of course, you butt with such force that blood is drawn.
You know, it reminds me that other cultures such as the Japanese in particular may have one up on us, in that they use bowing as a greeting. Perhaps, we could adopt that. In fact, you may be ahead of us since you already do when your boss enters the room except you don't have to kiss his feet next time.
I believe most germs are passed on through the hands so you really are on to something here. However, this bowing thing seems slightly impersonal. Why don't you try what the French do and greet people with a peck on each cheek?
I'm talking about the one's on the face, you weirdo!
The idea of kissing someone on both cheeks doesn't sound very hygenic, nor appealing, and is not what would be appropriate for our culture. This reminds me of the Indian culture where not only is holding hands between colleagues normal, but expected. Imagine you in India holding hands with your boss as you stroll down the street. Perhaps, shaking hands isn't so bad after all.
Actually, I never shake hands with my co-workers; only the occasional visitor. And even then they must pass a rigorous 23-point check before I'll shake their hand.
Maybe you're just overly outgoing. Do you notice people walking on the far side of the corridor from you just so they can avoid contact with the far too friendly mitt of Mr. Gladhand?
23 point inspection? Do they get a seal of certification afterwards? Hopefully, it's visible so I can definitely avoid them at all costs.
Not only do I not prefer to shake hands unless it is absolutely necessary, I do make a point to vigorously wash my hands carefully afterwards to avoid unnecessary germs.
As a preventative measure in the future, I'm contemplating loudly sneezing into my hands as I see someone quietly extending their hands in anticipation of the dreaded shake. If I make it more theathrical with some wild gestures - flying arms, ear shattering screech, and extraneous saliva - I'm sure I can avoid the notorious handshake. In fact, I think I can seem them shaking at the thought of wanting to shake hands in the future.
Post a Comment