Saturday, September 13, 2008
Asleep at the wheel
Similar to a lot of people, after a big lunch, I get drowsy, and during these occasions, am often tempted to catch a few z's in my office, but I'm fearful of getting caught since I don't have a lock at the door. This is another area that I think we've been beaten by the wiley Japanese who typically look forward to a restful nap during the work day to recharge their duracells. Why is it so taboo in American business anyway. You would think that there is so much waste during water cooler conversations and gossip visits that a 30 minute snooze wouldn't affect productivity much. In fact, I would bet that there are Japanese studies that prove such a nap would increase productivity. Next up: having sex in the office to improve the workplace blues.
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8 comments:
You've obviously never spent a day at my workplace. I too once had your naive belief in no napping at the workplace. Then I walked around our building at break time.
In my first encounter, I feared that one of our more elderly employees had actually died at his desk (BTW - no discernible change in productivity). Fearing the worst - or perhaps trying to save him from what I perceived to be an embarassing moment - I proceeded to wake him up. However, I came to realize that this was a common activity of his... and many others.
One day, as I was escorting our bankers to the lobby, I commented on the company's owner's attention to detail. As I glanced to my right at just that moment, I was horrified to see him, feet up on his desk, head tilted back, in full sleep mode. Naturally I did my best to divert their attention to the left side of the hall.
Yes, napping is actually epidemic in my workplace. People are doing it at desks, at work stations, in their cars, even in closets!
As for sex, that was taking place at the last place I worked.
This could be an opportunity for office entertainment. Perhaps, the next time you see someone nodding off, you consider the opportunity to "seize the day" or "carpe diem" which actually means "die fish" after a frustrating job at the old fishing hole, but I digress.
Next time you see the old codger start counting sheep, you should give him the old standby, otherwise known as the traditional hot foot! Nothing like a flame on the toe-sies to perk up the office morale. No telling how far you can go with this. Wedgies to the overweight ladies in Accounting, or maybe tieing the shoelaces together of the dorky sales manager. You could also put a load of shaving cream in your owner's hand and as he begins to wake up, he creams himself in the head. You'd be a legend in no time!
In fact, you could claim to be giving mouth to mouth to the pretty office receptionist and claim that you thought she was passed out! The possibilities are endless!
You've been spying on my company, haven't you?
I still have the video of you and the receptionist. Did he really file that restraining order on you?
At least now I know you didn't really have a camera at my workplace.
Just ask the male receptionist. Who do you think had the camera? And don't forget to ask him where he hid the camera. . .
My workplace seems pretty normal now that I have an idea of what you do with a male receptionist and a camera. I hope you at least wash your hands!
Don't get me started on the photos of you and the janitor. Good thing you didn't mistake the pipe jelly. . .
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