After Thanksgiving Sales

Why would a normal, sane human being subject themselves to getting up at 4:00am to get in line with hundreds and thousands of other poor, sleep deprived souls to get a "good deal"? Is it really worth the morning breath, the parking lot hassle, the rude bumps, the non-existent sales clerk who is too busy hiding from the wretched patrons, the commotion, the stress in realizing that another store may actually have a better deal, or worse, have what you need in stock when this one's out! I think not. I propose we go back to simpler times when we have a quiet cholesterol clogging, high starched meal with family members we see once every couple of years as we while away the hours with good in depth conversations of how the family cat got caught in the combine, where we learn more about Aunt Mertle's close encounter with bean salad, and how Billy Joe ended up in the slammer. . . again. I yearn for that simple life that you only can find on the Jerry Springer show. . .