Saturday, February 24, 2007
Only two things that you can always count on. . .
Taxes and Jock Itch. Yep, it's that time of the year again when we shed our cycle of excuses and sit down for a lonely weekend with nothing but dried ketchup stained receipts and our trusty ten key calculator. Uncle Sam is asking for another donation, and I aim to please. By the way, I wonder if Uncle Sam ever gets lonely? Isn't there supposed to be an Aunt Samantha to keep him warm during these cold winter days? But I digress. Anyway, here I am plunking away trying to figure out how I can keep the "revenooers" from taking the farm. Or taking me to the cleaners. I guess I should be taking one for the gipper. Why is the tax code so damn complicated? I sincerely believe that they instituted it to see which one of us has the fortitude to actually study the details and spend countless hours trying to determine if I can save 32 cents on that alleged business call to Aunt Myra. After sheer frustration, I will eventually give up and decide to let the federal government take it. I suppose it is good fiscal sense to get people frustrated in order to make more money. Of course, I would rather be frustrated with an image of Britney Spears, but that's another story. Enough! Now I must be a good patriotic citizen and do my civic duty. Can I claim that deciduous conifer that shaped like Aunt Myra as a dependent?
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16 comments:
Uncle Sam doesn't need an Aunt Samantha to keep him company. This time of year, taxpaying America can collectively be referred to as Ben Dover.
I suppose I don't mind paying my fair share, but must our government compound the pain by making us do things with numbers that even Linda Lovelace couldn't dream up? All I can say is, "thank you sir, may I have another?".
I truly would not mind paying my fair share of taxes if I could imagine that some portion of it would make it benefit the common good, but I suspect that the money is being poured out, in inefficient spending, like some failed dot com that is interested in selling used tissue papers. Actually, that may not be a bad idea. I wonder if I could develop a website to sell $50 bolts to the federal government. I know they don't need screws, because I got screwed, for free!
Brilliant deduction! Even though the subject matter is somewhat gross. Personally, I'm finding this conversation rather taxing. Which is why, of course, I have found myself having to revert back to my usual form - right on schedule.
I agree with your ASSESSMENT, with the EXEMPTION that anyone would have any INTEREST in what you say in your STATEMENTs. It almost grates on my nerves like people FILING their nails. DEPENDENT on what you're going to say about inane trivia like Get Smart, I would like to say first that Barbara Feldon is a 10 as 99 in my BOOK.
Now, excuse me, my PENAL is getting CODE because of the winter wind.
In the alternative, I will keep my comments to a minimum by getting down to brass tax.
That's not Intuit-ive. You're beginning to sound more like Floyd R. Turbo Taxing around the subject. Perhaps, you should consider working in H. R., you Blockhead!
Maybe you should go visit H.R. since you insist on wearing a dress just like Corporal Kiplinger on M*A*S*H.
Maybe you should dress like Michael Jackson or Jennifer Hewitt but it still would have the same effect as Preparation H
That wasn't very clever so I'm going to withhold giving you credit.
Can we Return to our previous Subject so we can hopefully Gain some readership following? That would be Capital!
Once we've earned some readers maybe we can make some income. Naturally, I'll deserve most of the credit.
I'll give you Credit that you came up with a decent comment for a change. I was beginning to think I had to shElderly this blog myself or risk getting our blog Disabled!
Even a blind blogger could do as well as your last comment. I can think of over 65 comments that would have been better.
At least, I'm more adjusted than you are while you're just plain gross as you income and go from this post.
There is no basis to your accusations!
I think you should consider self-depreciation humor.
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