In recent years, I have become more of a germ-a-phobe. Right around the time I had heard that Howard Hughes, the richest man in the world - pre-Gates, had this weird, eccentric concern over germs. Not that I would compare to this wealthy weirdo, but I think he was ahead of his time. I think about all these anti-resistant bacteria that is permeating the world, and how our antibiotics would one day be powerless in the face of these super-beings. That is why I chose to grip the door handle with my right pinky and then carefully place it in my pocket as I rub on some Purell hidden securely in the inner reaches of my pocket so as to not bring attention to my sudden fear of those insidious germs.
Often, I am the one who will be running to the rest room to wash my hands after shaking hands with a stranger. I will not hesitate to use paper towels to touch the faucet handles rather than risk the touch of some errant stranger who may not be as careful as me. Would it be appropriate to purchase a plastic bag in order to venture out into this strange, strained world?
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6 comments:
Well.
I don't know about a plastic bag, but it may be appropriate for you to purchase about a week's worth of time on the couch of a qualified psychiatrist. You actually compare pretty well to that wealthy weirdo Howard Hughes. This is in spite of the fact that his billions of dollars of wealth exceeds yours by, roughly, billions of dollars.
While your dissertation on germs is thought provoking on many levels, the most intriguing image I'm left with is that of you carefully placing the door handle in your pocket.
Maybe that plastic bag idea is not so bad after all. Try placing it over your head to prevent the entry of germs into your nose and mouth.
Ever notice how legal our climate has become? We seem to be afraid to even eat in a buffet without getting sued! I even heard that a popular internet story is about a boy who is getting sued for inadvertantly running into a 50 year old man as they were both learning to ski. Now the boy and his family are being sued for $75 grand. What is society coming to?
I'll tell you what is wrong. Notice when we have stock prospectuses that the damn lawyers even know how to waste paper. Why do they always leave a page blank, and then leave us a note to tell us that the page was left blank intentionally! Damn attorney's kill trees and laugh impudently at the rest of us poor saps.
Now the popular notion is to ask permission before using copyrighted material. How often do we see the overused phrase "reprinted with permission." Come on. How is an innovative new concept like Napster going to thrive if we have to contact every single person before we do anything. Damn lawyers are screwing up the world.
Excellent observations, Perry. Too bad they're buried in a Rubble of comments when they are worthy of full "Post" status. Actually, compared to most of our material, that comment was almost worthy of a Pulitzer.
I've always felt that the phrase "intentionally left blank" was not only idiotic, but it also rendered itself irrelevant because as soon as the words were printed, the page was no longer blank!
Maybe some of our posts should have been intentionally left blank.
I wanted to respond with a witty remark but I'm drawing a blank.
Personally, I think that was intentional.
Don't get personal with me!
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