Here's a topic that I have yet to find Emily Post address. What do you do when you happen to be having a conversation with a colleague, and he begins to walk into the restroom? Do you continue the dialogue as if nothing's change even though you are surrounded by plumbing? I found myself in this predicament today. First, I must say that the conversation began innocently enough. I was attending an offsite meeting, and decided to make a mad dash to the building complex because it happened to be lightly raining. As I came closer to the building, I noticed the colleague in question up ahead, and as he saw me approaching, he stopped, despite the rain, and waited for me to catch up. Because of this courtesy, I believed that I had an obligation to continue the conversation since he earnestly struck up the dialogue. During the middle part of our talk, and without warning, he entered the bathroom. He ran into the stall, and rather than stand there dumbfounded, I decided to use the urinal. After a few moments of awkward silence, he continued the conversation as if nothing was different.
Besides the occasional groans and grunts coming from the stall, nothing else was unusual and he was able to discuss the complexity of calculating the company's latest quarterly results. During this awkward spell, he let loose what could only be described as an incredible cleansing of the bowels. Not only was there the tell tale sound of water splashing and volcanoes erupting, he was still able to resume the dialogue as if nothing was happening. At this point, I am trying to wash my hands and hoping no one else were to enter to hear us keep this conversation going while he was in all his glory.
Now, my real dilemma at this juncture is how do I leave? Should I stay and be subjected to this and possibly be accused of being the perpetrator as I walk away with his stench on my clothes? Or do I leave and possibly risk that he is offended that I left him in mid-conversation? After all, he was willing to stand in the rain and wait for me earlier? Or worse yet, what if I leave and don't say anything, and he assumes that I am still there continuing the conversation with a ghost? What if someone enters to hear him talking to no one?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Before we address your central question regarding bathroom etiquette, I think we must first consider your colleague waiting in the rain. What you have labeled "courtesy" can more accurately be described as "foolishness". Clearly this guy is a moron; a point he emphatically re-confirmed as he conversed over the walls of the bathroom. Sort of brings new meaning to the term "business conversation".
Although rare in occurrence, I too have found myself in such a predicament - on both sides of the wall in fact. In this instance you had the good fortune to be on the side where you had options. Since this guy is a moron, you're best option would have been to leave just as soon as you were done. Presuming he would just keep talking, he could then display his "moronity" for the next person; after all, he doesn't seem shy about showing it off.
I should also point out that, in terms of courtesy, standing in a light rain does not even come close to "standing by" in a bathroom while another is "busy". What you did was so far and above the call of duty (no pun intended) that this guy should probably buy you lunch.
On second thought, you may want to ask him for a gift card instead.
I do not think he is a moron, but perhaps, a little naive in the ways of the world. He did extend a courtesy nonetheless, by waiting diligently for me despite the (Matt) inclement weather. Lest you forget, he did award me with a prodigious dump that, no doubt, he could not have waited a minute later, so obviously, he must have "held his own" as I paced my way over to him. In fact, as I think about it, he may have been somewhat herculean in that he "contained" himself for as long as he did.
What impresses me most is his ability to multi-task so to speak, especially when such talents are sure to be rewarded in this world of Instant Messaging, Cell Phones, Email, etc. that continually confounds us mere mortals on a daily basis. Here is a superhuman who can actually carry a intellectually challenging conversations while passing a bowel movement without skipping a beat (or stone as the case may be). In fact, he probably was even keeping a journal since he did take his briefcase in with him.
Imagine, he was keeping a log while dropping a log!
I know that you are already reluctant to shake co-workers hands as you roam the hallways of your workplace. You may want to add borrowing this guy's Blackberry to your list of workplace fears.
Upon reflection, I am glad that I didn't wait for him to finish his "job" and immediately saw a lull in the conversation as I departed. My biggest fear is finding our good ole Dan walks out without washing his germ infested palms. Would it be unprofessional to walk around with latex gloves?
Post a Comment