As I was leaving work today, I came up with the most brilliant idea to solve our gas crisis. Okay, so I wasn't referring to gasoline, but flatulence. The most difficult issue is typically where do you go to "let it go?" I find it awkward to do so in the most obvious place, the rest room. Although it is expected, it is still an opportunity to giggle while your colleagues stand next to you by the urinal or in the adjacent stall. In fact, it is not uncommon for those with fine social upbringing to flush occasionally so as to disguise the aforementioned sound.
As I mentioned, I came across the ingenious idea as I was leaving to go home. It came to me like a lightning bolt as I exited through the revolving doors. Now, during the momentary spinning, I did notice that for that brief period that there was blissful silence. In fact, the person who was leaving with me was trying to continue the conversation, but lo and behold, I could not hear a thing! It was almost like the "cone of silence." I think I'll order the baked beans for lunch tomorrow. Of course, I may have to remain spinning for a while in the revolving door, but I pity the next one in line who wants to use the section of the revolving door. . .
12 comments:
It appears that your concern is more with the aural embarrassment rather than the residual after-effect. With regard to the latter, if you simply wait that one extra second until you are outdoors you will be fine - particularly on a windy day.
Regarding the sonic disruption, if you are walking with a co-worker, you will need to dispense the so-called "SBD" type, or wait for a police siren, or time it so that the need arises at exactly 10:00 a.m. on the first Tuesday of every month.
By the way, if you enter the revolving door while walking with a woman, will you be going first or second?
I believe protocol dictates that the man enters first in order to set the revolving door in motion. This practice stems back to the early days when women were considered the weaker sex, so the man needed to guide the door for them. Of course, the manners were probably developed in a society where women were dainty, not the grain fed behemoths that they have lurking in these cornfield.
I think you've been living in Green Acres for so long that you've forgotten how to tell a female human from a female [insert your favorite farm animal here - I'm sure you have many; just use the common name (e.g. "pig") rather than a cute nickname such as "Arnold"]. Just the same, I think I agree with you on this revolving door thing (see my post from some May back in '06 or '07).
Amazing fact that I discovered after discussing revolving doors: seems that Richard Simmons, America's and your favorite fitness guru(?) tends to elicit laughs as he deliberately goes through a complete revolution before exiting a revolving door.
I'll bet he walks backwards on escalators as well.
Don't know about escalators, but I just know that the elevators have their ups and downs.
You didn't think that was funny, did you? C'mon, level with me.
That last comment completely floored me.
Too bad you didn't notice that guy lift your wallet.
He didn't get my money, since I was "holding the dough"
You were ready to call the police because he was button' in, weren't you?
I'm getting really stuck trying to come up with a response. Guess I'm just floored by your comment.
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