This is Garbage!

I dragged my trash can out to the curb last night for pickup this morning. That trash can has to be at least 15 to 20 years old by now and is in fine working condition. But what if it wasn't? How would I throw it away?

Every Tuesday evening I leave the trash can and its no longer useful contents by the street. The next evening, there it is again but emptied of the family discards. This is, of course, how the world should work in suburbia. However, say I wanted to rid myself of this can once and for all. What if I wanted a new can to match the house? Do I leave the old can outside without anything thrown inside of it and hope the garbage collectors take the hint? Should I flip it upside down to signify that it died and it's time for burial? I could put it in the recycling bin but I don't think it would fit. I suppose I could leave a sign on the side along the lines of "take this trash and the can it rode in on!". However, I think if I were the trash collector, I would simply take the sign and leave the can. I think someone has to be more clever than that to rid themselves of a trash can.

Why do birds. . .

allegedly NOT leave droppings while in flight? Tell that to my neighbor who told me she got a doozie planted on her head and laundry as she was putting her clothes up on the line.

Amish Furniture

So why is Amish furniture so special? I know it's made by hand, but wouldn't you think that there are other craftmen around that could do as good a job? Also, what is wrong with a high volume production process? One would think that the quality would be consistent and of a higher grade than that of a hand made special anyway. Would you buy an overpriced car because it was hand made? Think about those cars made in 3rd world countries with cheap labor! Production Line Automation is not a bad thing especially considering the cost advantages and the fact that you'll get tired of whatever you bought in a few years anyway. BTW, anyone want to buy a "like new" Subaru?

It's Time for a New Post

Hey! How's it goin'? Guess I'm kind of at a loss for something to say, eh? Dude, get a life. This is so bogus man. What am I talkin' about anyway. Totally cool.

I'm glad you've read this far because I've clearly established there is nothing on my barren mind. Yep, I'm a desert. Not a dessert. But that brings up an interesting question, if you could be any kind of dessert what would you be?

I don't think I'd be cake. Or pie. Maybe ice cream - ice cream is cool. Ice cream with hot fudge. I'm cool but hot! And a little nuts. I guess I'm a sundae.

There you go, top that!

Happy Birthday...

to anyone who may read this post on their actual birthday. For those blog reading hobbyists who happen to pass by when it is not your birthday, please check back on that special day and this post will still be here for you! You may, of course, have to check the archives.

And for those readers whose birthday actually falls on the date of this post and in fact read it today - well, see the title above. I'm sure you're not over the hill and wasting your life away in some smoky, low rent casino in podunk, U.S.A.

Why does Zamboni make me laugh?

We have all heard of the ice surfacing machine, right? So why does the mere mention of the name bring out grins and belly aching laughs? Is it the sound as one pronouces it? Could it be the service it provides? Or is it the weird spelling? Not sure, but I do know that he's one of the best pitchers that ever took the mound. Hopefully Carlos Zamboni can keep his emotions in check before his next start.

Time for Phase 2

Enough of double entendre, innuendo and blatant pandering to the basest of the human instinct. Our heretofore fruitless (save for one much appreciated reader) attempts at generating an audience have not achieved the desired result. Puns certainly have their place in the world - or at least here on this particular blog - but we need more. Something approaching real discourse, though not necessarily rational or intelligent.

My inclination here is to suggest we solicit viewership from family, friends and co-workers. However, a quick mental read of our prior posts leads me think I'd rather start with Mr. H2O's family, friends and co-workers. I might even go so far as to suggest we offer member status to frequent or favored posters so that they are not confined to only comment. In short, we need to network this blog. Create a conblogerate, if you will.

So there you go, Mr. H, invite a friend. Or even a foe. I dare you.

Cingulair vs. Cingular

My doctor prescribed an allergy medication for me today, and for some reason the pills have a weird electronic ring, but the good news is that I stop sneezing whenever I'm on my cell phone. Perhaps, I should have monthly prescription from Cingular instead of a subscription from Cingulair, but what the hay, the comics section is funny.

Phreakin Phunny Puns

So, I see, you resorted to shameless advertising in your feeble attempt at generating interest through the new blog name. Perhaps, we should post a picture of you and call our site: human jack o'lantern? By the way, did you notice the post in the April 19 blog?

Cinco de Mayo

Today is the day we celebrate mayonnaise! Cinco must be some latin word for spread or something like that. I don't know why we don't have a special day for mustard. Or ketchup either for that matter. Of course, one doesn't spread ketchup so Cinco de Ketchup wouldn't make sense. Maybe Pouro de Ketchup! I nominate the fourth of some month (you know, pouro sounds like four-o; hey maybe the fourth of October - the "o" could be for October!)

I'm a frickin' genius!

Wal-Mart

just thought I would see if I could garner some interest by introducing a shameless plug. kind of like your lips on your bosses derriere

Over Spammed

Are you noticing an increase in SPAM ever since we joined Blogger? I had 26 messages today alone. How ironic, most of my messages relate to discount Viagra. I guess they thought I was an impotent executive.