iWonder

How did the letter i become so prominent in product naming? Lower case at that. And what exactly does it stand for? Idea? "'I' can't put my name on this product but 'I' thought of it!"?

Drop an i in front of "Phone" and now everyone knows you have an Apple product of obvious utility. But how did "Pod" come to mean a music player? If Apple made a line of kitchen appliances, would we have an iFridge? Or maybe the coffee maker could be an iOpener!

i think this all started with BMW. 328i. 530i. i used to think the "i" designation meant it was something special (although there is still no obvious reference as to what it stands for) until I realized that letter i was on every freakin' Bimmer!

Hey - this gives me an idea...

Karma Chameleon

Check out my picture in Webster's Dictionary! I'm right there under "hypochondriac". If your uncle happens to be in the hospital after suffering a heart attack, please don't tell me the symptoms that led up to his attack - otherwise I'll be feeling those same symptons that evening. Those stomach pains that one tells me they're feeling after lunch in the cafeteria; poof - there they are!

You have a friend who becomes a downer with their constant complaining? I can become that friend. Tell me about that pain in the ass that won't stop making jokes and there I'll be, right next to him or her.

Why can't someone tell me about these wonderful people they know who are always engaging? Maybe I could take that on too. But wait - then I'd probably feel inadequate; you know I have those self esteem issues too.

Well is dry

As I pass through the friendly halls of my workplace, I am typically greeted by strangers passing who will smile and say "hi." Unfortunately, I am getting really tired of this practice because frankly, I feel my "smile bank" is running low. Too often I have to smile even though I don't really feel like it, and rather reserve my smiles for someone more deserving, like the pretty secretary on the 2nd floor or the cafeteria cashier who always has the uplifting "have a great day!" Somehow, I feel that there is only so many smiles that a person can offer before they are gone.

Think of it this way. Someone smart, like Yogi Berra, or at least Thad Bosley, claimed that a pitcher only has so many pitches in his arm before he becomes useless. That's why some pitchers go easy as they warm up so as not to use up those precious pitches. I liken that thought to what I am doing with smiles. If you're not careful, you may use up those smiles and that frown will be a permanent part of your face. Just look what happens when you used up your. . . well, you know.

Fashionista

As I grow wiser, I have noticed some weird fashion statements by my male peers. Why is it that I see a greater preponderence of men in white socks and dress shoes? It's still awkward in jeans, but I even see them in dress pants. Now I don't begrudge the person who is living check to check just trying to make ends meet, but is it that difficult to have the appropriate socks on? I'm even more mystified when I see white athletic socks with dress shoes. The only thing that I think would top that would be watching my neighbor down the block mowing the lawn in his black dress socks and shoes with shorts while he puffs on his cigar. At least his cigar band matches his socks.

Nature is Calling

I've been thinking lately about the Mormon church. Yes, this is a shameless plug to get those googling for info on Mormons or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to inadvertantly land on our blog. In any event, I came to believe that they are right about one thing. Traditionally, they have believed that a man should have more than one wife, otherwise known infamously as polygamy. Now, before you go off being all righteous on me, let me explain why there may be some merit to this idea. Think of other forms of life and how they can procreate incredibly with multiple partners. Man has billions and billions of sperm, but one woman could not possibly be expected to furnish her man with that many children or acts for that matter. I sincerely believe that nature intended man to have multiple partners. Do you think that cavemen only responded to one woman. Of course not! Their clubs in fact had the blood and hair of many women. In fact, it's only right that we do so. We should not go against the laws of nature, but live in harmony with as many wives as we can handle. Let's start a movement now! We shall call ourselves the New Age.

Asleep at the wheel

Similar to a lot of people, after a big lunch, I get drowsy, and during these occasions, am often tempted to catch a few z's in my office, but I'm fearful of getting caught since I don't have a lock at the door. This is another area that I think we've been beaten by the wiley Japanese who typically look forward to a restful nap during the work day to recharge their duracells. Why is it so taboo in American business anyway. You would think that there is so much waste during water cooler conversations and gossip visits that a 30 minute snooze wouldn't affect productivity much. In fact, I would bet that there are Japanese studies that prove such a nap would increase productivity. Next up: having sex in the office to improve the workplace blues.

Defined by Race

Why isn't that most people immediately consider race to be the primary differentiator of a person. Take Obama for example, he is a black man first, even though he is actually of mixed races. Why couldn't people seem him as that skinny guy, or that Chicagoan? Or that smart guy, or that glib person, no, we consider him the black guy running for president.

Now as he's running for the white house, a thought crossed my mind about the intense number of hours he must be spending in campaigning for the presidency. In fact, one could say that he's doing "yeoman's duty." What I beg to know is how did that expression come about? And who is that poor yeoman anyway? Did that come to be when George Bush graduated from his alma mater, and someone exclaimed that he must be doing Yale men's duty? Must have been some black guy.