Chucky Baby

Little known baseball factoid: that infamous manager known far and wide as having a body far and wide, and managed the Pittsburgh Pirates to a world championship on the strength and abiltiy of Dave Parker to outrun duracells in the outfield, Chuck Tanner, is credited with having hit an Illiad, or homer, to those less educated than me, on his first pitch. What? Don't believe moi? Check out this, you mentally incompetent, imbeciles:

http://www.baseballlibrary.com/baseballlibrary/ballplayers/T/Tanner_Chuck.stm

Let those who doubt my wisdom and tenacity, cry for you mommies!

Stop! I've fallen and . . . the world keeps spinning!

Why is time going at warp speed these days? The old adage that time flies when you're having fun just doesn't ring completely true. I seem to recall the days when things would just drag on when I was in grammar school. High School in all of its charms still seemed to last forever. Somewhere between college and the REAL WORLD, I must have fallen into some kind of time warp. I occasionally feel like the arch-foe of that speedy super hero, the Flash, who was the slowest man on earth, the Turtle. (Not sure who the comic book author was, but what a dumb premise, but I digress). I still can remember Christmas like it was yesterday, and now I look up and the 4th of July is right around the corner. Now before I can savor the sound of M-80s blasting away my neighbor's mailbox, I need to go out and fertilize my lawn for the coming of leaf raking season. Before you know it, we will be tossing a few turkey drumsticks over the fence, and gearing up to bring out the artificial forest product. I think this year I'll just leave it up, right next to the Easter bunny, the 4th of July flag, and my framed picture of our Commander in Chief, John F. Kennedy.