Back Rub the wrong way

I noticed a job posting today for Stark Investments in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, land of our fellow cheeseheads, and was quite surprised to see the title of the position. Instead of seeing Senior Director of Accounting, or VP of Purchasing, I came across the enviable opening of "Senior BACK OFFICE Manager." Now I'm not sure how popular that title is, or how many people are pounding on their doors, or how to put that title down on a business card without cringing, but somehow can't imagine that to be too flattering. My mind wanders to a social engagement, like a dinner party, and imagine the conversation going towards, "so what do you do?" In between the CFO, VP Engineering, and the like, no doubt the "Back Office Manager" would stand out like a sore thumb. So what does a "B O Manager" do?

Name Change

I saw in the paper today that a guy changed his name to In God We Trust. I think it's great that Mr. Trust is so firm in his beliefs; I just hope he doesn't turn cynical and name a child of his First National Bank And.

Management by Cliche

A few years ago, HP pioneered the concept of MBWA, or management by walking around. The intent was for management to get out of their cozy offices and get to know their people by mingling. Such behaviour was expected to promote teamwork and cohesiveness, thereby improving productivity. Now, I don't know if it succeeded, but at the time HP was growing rapidly, fueled no doubt, by the growth of the technology sector, in general. Was it really due to the concept of MBWA or was MBWA just a by-product of the natural culture which led it to success. Or was it neither and that HP was just at the right place at the right time with the right product that was destined to climb.

This has led to my thought of the recent deterioration of management, or "leadership" as my company like to call it. Instead of any new, profound thought, we are deluged with Colin Powell quotes that are as dated as my HP reference or Fortran. I constantly hear "one size doesn't fit all" or "we don't want to swing the pendulum too far." Whatever happened to real leadership? I believe we have replaced any new leadership thoughts with old and tired cliches, because we have people in leadership roles who are not qualified, and resort to what is familiar. What is troubling is the fact that a large number of the herd actually responds to the rhetoric as if this is exciting! This speaks volumes of the state of the economy and civilization. While we ramble on, our crafty European and Japanese are developing more creative workforces. Oh well, if it ain't broken, don't fix it.

Blondie

Ever notice how certain names immediately convey some imagery? It's kind of like "Hubert's" give you the impression that the gentlemen is somewhat nerdy, but friendly. "Horatio" is doomed to be a milquetoast. Don't even get me started on a "Melvin."

What I find particularly interesting is how every "Sara" or "Sarah" that I have ever met is blonde. Now I didn't necessarily say that Sarah's are attractive, just blonde. Think about Sarah Jessica Parker strutting around New York in her blonde locks. Don't forget Sarah Michelle Gellar sashaying in her Buffy attire. Just thinking of Sara makes me Smile.

Power Lunch

My first opportunity in the real world was as an intern with a big (8, now 4) accounting firm. While on an engagement with a very significant client, I had lunch with the rest of the audit team consisting of a senior and two junior consultants. Since we had to pay for our own meals at this time, we chose to imbibe at Wendy's. I ordered a small meal because I tend to be a slow eater and wanted to leave a good impression with our "boss", the senior auditor, by being attempting to showcase my exemplary conversation skills. Unfortunately, I chose to have a bowl of chili with extra cheese and onions. Although the beans probably would have been sufficient to cause some minor embarrassment, the cheese actually caused me the most problems because of its naturally gooey nature. Imagine for a moment, how difficult it must have been to pull the stringy cheese out of my mouth as it continues to remain intact all the way to the bowl. It even leaves you with that weird "hairy" feeling that you didn't get all of it even after you pull the last remaining strands. Although the senior tried her best to ignore my challenge, I know it made her uncomfortable. What truly saved me in this ordeal, (yes this is a positive story with a great? ending) was the lunch choice of one of my other junior audit colleagues. Instead of selecting another great meal from the menu board, he choice to bring his bag lunch with him.

To which he got immediately reprimanded that bringing his homemade concoction was just plain "unprofessional." Not only that, but she felt, although interns, we were still paid handsomely, and should be able to afford a decent meal, even if at Wendy's. In the event that we would be eating with clients, she would immediately have taken that bag lunch and threw it out or sent the junior auditor crying home. Needless to say, I was utterly shocked that she brought up this perspective with such rigorous passion! My junior friend however continued to munch on his home prepared sandwich and seemed mildly amused, but nonetheless seemed bothered.

From this day forward, the poor sap decided to pay for his meal and never brought up this situation again. I now reflect on this story, as I have many times, and realize somehow the trauma of this situation has remained with me, because I cannot recall any occasion where I brought my own lunch to work. I also realize much too late how absurd the thought was to publicly admonish someone who was trying to save a few dollars on a paltry salary or chose to maintain a certain nutritional diet. Unfortunately, I have to publicly admit that I am now that ugly senior, and have looked unflatteringly at those who do tend to bring their lunches to work at my place of employment. I can be having a lunch meeting, and as soon as I see that lunch bag come out, I'm just ready to scream. Instead, I just cast a slight downward glance as I eat my cafeteria special while shaking my head disapprovingly and referring to my lunch-bag carrying denizen as a "plebeian" who will never advance to the next caste as long as I am able to offer my opinion during promotion periods. In fact, I would even stoop to taking a bite out of the sandwich while the person steps away to wash their hands or gets a soda while leaving the meal in a vulnerable and visible spot. When they return, they become so disgusted that they will typically through the "damn" thing away, while I secretly laugh on the inside as they generally suspect the wrong person would take a germy bite out of their artistically assembled sandwich.

I will continue to do so until I rid the world of these unprofessional bag lunch people!