In this day of rampant professionalism, I have to admit that I am uncomfortable with extending my hand to shake hands. Although I'd like to say that germs may be a factor in this consideration, and have had my share of standing by the restroom sink washing my hands while coworkers will "do their business" only to walk out with palms dripping with invisible bacteria, I do feel strange as people I do know well attempt to shake hands under the guise of professionalism. Obviously, I return the firm shake with a haughty "how do you do" or "good to see you again" to make it even more insincere. Am I wrong that I prefer to keep my distance with my colleagues or do I have to continue to play this unusual game of dilbert-esque interaction?
I would not socialize with these individuals, nor would I spend more time than necessary, so why must I be subjected to shaking the hands of someone and act like I really enjoy spending more than a prefessional minute with them. Excuse me while I wash my hands.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Sweeping Changes at My Place of Employment!
As an employee of an engineering firm, it's not unusual to occasionally find a few employees poring over a large drawing. This afternoon I noticed our Quality Manager gazing at a drawing with one of our machinists - not an unusual sight. What struck me was the janitor peering over this drawing at the same time. I'm not sure what input he could possibly have or, for that matter, what vital information he may have been acquiring from the conversation. I can only guess that there were special janitorial needs for this particular project; must have been an especially messy part that required an extra pass or two with the sweeper.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Hormel's Not The Boss of Me
I personally think the folks at Hormel are getting just a little too heavy handed. It's one thing to tell me heat up a pork roast in the microwave for four minutes, but what's with this "serve and enjoy" business? I'll leave it up to me as to whether or not I'll enjoy my pork roast, thank you. If I choose to serve and gag uncontrollably - well, dammit, that's my decision!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Hello Doctor
My brother had a physical recently where I understand he received shots for tetanus, whooping cough and shingles. He seems like somewhat of a do-it-yourself kind of guy so this shingles thing doesn't really surprise me. However, I think I'd rather have a shot for maybe getting a bathroom re-done.
I guess he's also been told to get a colonoscopy. That's really the kind of thing that's best kept to one's self because once you tell a few people, you'll be subject to no end of jokes. Having gone through the procedure not that long ago, I have been treated to three offerings of a viral video of a singing colonoscopy featuring Lou Rawls "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" with a disco ball rotating overhead.
And if, for exampe, one or two people in the lobby area may happen to mention you look like Richard Gere, don't bother telling anyone later on because, well... just don't bother.
By the way, I think I saw my doctor at the auto show this week. I didn't ask if he remembered me; I couldn't stand anymore jokes.
I guess he's also been told to get a colonoscopy. That's really the kind of thing that's best kept to one's self because once you tell a few people, you'll be subject to no end of jokes. Having gone through the procedure not that long ago, I have been treated to three offerings of a viral video of a singing colonoscopy featuring Lou Rawls "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" with a disco ball rotating overhead.
And if, for exampe, one or two people in the lobby area may happen to mention you look like Richard Gere, don't bother telling anyone later on because, well... just don't bother.
By the way, I think I saw my doctor at the auto show this week. I didn't ask if he remembered me; I couldn't stand anymore jokes.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I'm Too Tired to Post Something Worthwhile
I've never really contemplated street naming, per se, but as I was heading into Barrington on Barrington road today, I started a mental list of streets named for various nearby towns. In the suburban Chicago area, we have Palatine Road that goes through the middle of Palatine and Schaumburg Road that goes through the middle of Schaumburg. However, Mount Prospect Road kind of misses the center of Mount Prospect where Elmhurst Road goes right down the middle. Elmhurst Road, of course, goes right through downtown Elmhurst but, for some reason, it has been renamed York Road by then.
In the south suburbs, 159th Street is a major road that goes through several towns - except South Holland. Upon leaving Harvey for South Holland, 159th Street inexplicably becomes 162nd Street; apparently three blocks further south without moving so much as a fraction of a degree of longitude. Naturally, once you leave South Holland for Calumet City, everything is right again as the 159th Street name returns.
Perhaps the city of Atlanta has found a way to circumvent all of the confusion created by streets with multiple names. I think most of the streets there are named Peachtree.
In the south suburbs, 159th Street is a major road that goes through several towns - except South Holland. Upon leaving Harvey for South Holland, 159th Street inexplicably becomes 162nd Street; apparently three blocks further south without moving so much as a fraction of a degree of longitude. Naturally, once you leave South Holland for Calumet City, everything is right again as the 159th Street name returns.
Perhaps the city of Atlanta has found a way to circumvent all of the confusion created by streets with multiple names. I think most of the streets there are named Peachtree.
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